AITA for not going to a diner at a sushi restaurant for my girlfriend's birthday because I can't eat fish / sea food?

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AITA For Refusing To Go To My Girlfriend’s Birthday Dinner Because It Was At A Sushi Restaurant?

When a man with a severe intolerance to seafood skipped his girlfriend’s sushi birthday dinner, his mother-in-law called him dramatic — but he insists it was just setting a boundary he should have made years ago.

I (29M) can’t eat fish or seafood. Not an allergy — just severe intolerance. If I eat even a small portion, I’ll end up violently sick — both ends, the full horror. It’s not like I can’t be around it; if someone next to me eats sushi, I’m fine. But if I eat it? I’m doomed.

Recently, it was my girlfriend’s (32F) birthday. We celebrated properly at home with our two kids (5M and 8M): a nice Greek restaurant, cake, and gifts. Everyone was happy.

Then, over the weekend, my MIL (60F) organized another birthday dinner — this time with the in-laws. And guess where she chose to go? A sushi restaurant. The entire menu was built around seafood. Everyone in that family knows I can’t eat fish. We’ve been together for eight years; it’s not new information.

“You Should Join The Kids’ Table With Your Chicken”

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This isn’t the first time they’ve done this. The last “family dinner” was a sushi takeout night at MIL’s house. They got me some rotisserie chicken, which was fine, but the comments weren’t. I got the usual: “You should join the kids’ table with your chicken,” or “We’re glad you can’t eat it — more for us!”

I know they were meant as jokes, but being singled out over and over stops being funny. It’s isolating. I’ve sat through it quietly before, but this time something in me snapped. I decided — no more forcing myself into these situations.

“If an event is specifically centered around food I can’t eat, I simply won’t go. No grudges, no guilt — just boundaries.”

The Boundary That Caused Drama

I made this decision the day before the sushi dinner. When I told my girlfriend, she wasn’t happy. “You can’t cancel the day before,” “You should’ve said something earlier,” “It’s not personal,” “There are options for you” — she said all that. But I was firm.

I told her it’s not about them — it’s about me taking care of myself. I offered to stay home with the kids or let her take them if she wanted. I also volunteered to handle my MIL’s inevitable guilt trip myself. It was my boundary, my responsibility.

My girlfriend eventually said she understood. I called my MIL, politely declined, and explained why. Cue the expected dramatics. But I stayed calm and polite.

“It felt good to finally draw a line. I didn’t make a scene — I just opted out.”

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Was It The Right Call?

Now I’m wondering if I went too far. I didn’t mean to ruin anyone’s plans — I just didn’t want to sit through another dinner being excluded and mocked for what I can’t eat. My girlfriend’s mom thinks I’m dramatic, but honestly, it felt like self-respect.

I’m not angry. I just decided I don’t need to attend events that make me miserable or sick. I made sure to communicate clearly, take responsibility, and still offer support. Isn’t that what boundaries are supposed to look like?

“I’m not mad at them. I’m just done pretending it doesn’t bother me.”

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Typical reader reactions:

“NTA. Setting boundaries isn’t rude — it’s healthy.”

“They know you can’t eat it and still made it all about sushi? That’s disrespectful.”

“You didn’t refuse the birthday — you refused to be the punchline.”

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🌱 Final Thoughts

Sometimes, protecting your peace means saying no — even to family events. You can love people and still choose not to show up for situations that make you uncomfortable or unwell. Boundaries aren’t selfish; they’re self-respect in action.

What do you think?
Was skipping the dinner fair, or should he have gone to keep the peace? Share your thoughts below 👇

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