AITAH For Not Siding With My Wife Over Our Son’s Ex-Girlfriend’s Pregnancy?
When a teen pregnancy rocked two families, one dad believed his 16-year-old son’s claim that he isn’t the father — but his wife says he’s in denial and enabling “boy culture.” Now they’re split over what to do next.
Our son (just turned 16) had a girlfriend (she’s 16, almost 17). They broke up about a month ago. Three weeks later, her parents told us she’s pregnant — she’s already slightly showing, and the timing lines up with when they were together. We panicked.
We waited a couple of days before telling our son. His first words were, “It’s not mine — I never f_cked her.” I didn’t believe him at first; I know he’s sexually active and he’s even asked me for protection before. But he doubled down: they never had sex, he cheated on her, and he always uses protection when he does anything. As much as he can be a sh_thead, I started to believe him. My wife didn’t.
The Family Meeting That Lit the Fuse
We met with her parents. My wife started the conversation assuming our son was the father — already thinking solutions, funding, next steps. Our son pushed back hard: it’s not his baby because they never had sex. He was genuinely angry.
Then he made a crude comment (rephrasing here): they only ever did a certain act that can’t cause pregnancy, he didn’t like it, and never went further. We told him off for that immediately. Still, I believed him.
His ex admitted they “rarely” did anything, but described a specific “event” — the when and where — and I’ll be honest, it sounded believable. He’s lied before, he can be an absolute dog, but something in my gut says he’s telling the truth this time.
“He’s a sh_thead sometimes — but on this, I believe him.”
“You’re Part of Boy Culture” vs. “Wait for Proof”
My wife thinks I’m enabling him. She says I’m part of the “boy culture” that excuses young men while girls deal with the consequences. We were both 17 when she got pregnant, and she’s terrified history is repeating itself.
I’m refusing to plan support, money, or logistics until there’s proof. I’ve stepped back from further meetings with the other family for now. My wife says I’m “not living in reality” and leaving her to handle it alone.
“I’m not denying reality — I’m asking for DNA before deciding our son’s future.”
Her parents don’t want a paternity test until after birth. They say it could harm the baby, but from what I’ve read, the modern tests are safe. Either way, we’re in the UK — courts won’t order a test until after birth. So we wait.
The Stalemate
My wife wants to prepare as if he’s the father — she thinks that’s responsible and compassionate. I think labeling a 16-year-old a dad without proof is unfair and potentially life-altering. If the test proves it’s his, we’ll step up. Until then, I’m holding the line.
AITAH for not siding with my wife? Or is it reasonable to wait for DNA before deciding anything?
Most readers split into two camps:
“You don’t assign fatherhood by vibes. Wait for DNA.”
“Your wife is reacting from trauma — be kind, but don’t promise anything without proof.”
“Support the girl’s well-being without admitting paternity. Those can both be true.”
🌱 Final Thoughts
Teen pregnancy is emotionally explosive — especially for parents who lived it themselves. Compassion matters. So does fairness. Until there’s a paternity test, the only responsible path might be patience.
What do you think?
Is the dad right to wait for proof, or should he prepare as if his son is the father? Share your thoughts below 👇
![Me [35 M] with my wife [29F] of five years, wants a divorce after I requested a paternity test.](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5WUFPRBe77g6Qkr2SvfYtFnTRGVzmALILg8Rn7NER8CBTetFYIll2ffRl6-A7HBVPRXSYCrdq5s40KzmruT_4EqZkpNyLmGPTEjtVf10JCm0mtHucsqHkLZRSObreK0cfxmvdmnTFfjg1HEWnZYlGh79MguWfROzyMZD7pLHzH8rczUQj5g7v1vncYOCV/w72-h72-p-k-no-nu/RS82.jpeg)
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