Was I wrong for taking my 17-year-old home after their friends showed up over an hour late on Halloween?
A parent waited with their teen for over an hour in the cold for friends who repeatedly promised they were “on the way” — only for the friends to call it rude when the pair finally left. Now the teen’s last childhood Halloween is ruined and a friendship may be, too.
My 17-year-old, who doesn’t drive yet, planned to trick-or-treat with friends for what would be their last Halloween as a kid. The meet-up spot was a central neighborhood, and I drove them there. But fifteen minutes after the agreed time, the group still wasn’t close — first blaming a costume malfunction, then claiming they were finally leaving. Another thirty minutes passed in the cold with my car idling, gas draining, and still no friends in sight. After more excuses, my kid felt stood up and heartbroken, and chose to go home and salvage the night with snacks and dad on the couch.
I waited over an hour with my kid in the cold for friends who kept saying they were “leaving soon,” and when we finally left, the friend called it rude — now my kid is devastated.
Halloween is huge in our house, so when the friends were late, my 17-year-old kept hoping they’d show. First it was supposedly a costume malfunction. Then they were “finally leaving.” But the meet-up was only 15 minutes away, and we ended up waiting more than an hour in the car with the heat running. My teen grew more upset as the night slipped by, feeling like they were being stood up by someone they considered a good friend.
"It had been over an hour past the meet time and they still hadn’t even left the house."
Eventually, I gave my kid a choice: keep waiting or head home. They chose to leave, clearly hurt. We got gas, grabbed candy and snacks from the store, and they planned to spend the rest of the night with their dad. That’s when the friend finally texted asking if they’d left yet — and when my kid explained they’d waited over an hour, the friend said it was “rude” to leave.
"Their friend said it was rude to leave — after showing up over an hour late."
My teen cried all night over losing someone they cared about, someone with a history of always being late. And my own plans were derailed too — their dad and I were supposed to go to dinner, but instead we stayed home comforting an upset kid whose last Halloween was ruined by unreliable friends.
🏠 The Aftermath
My teen spent the night heartbroken, feeling stood up by a friend they trusted. The friend hasn’t reached out since except to call their leaving “rude,” and the two aren’t speaking now.
We ended up salvaging the night with snacks and comfort at home, but the plans — both my teen’s and mine — were wiped out. Their dad and I skipped our dinner date, and the festive evening became a night of tears and disappointment.
The friendship now feels strained, and my teen is grieving both the ruined holiday and the loss of someone they thought would show up for them.
Sometimes the final straw isn’t dramatic — it’s an hour of being left waiting in the cold.
It’s a mix of frustration and sadness, recognizing that chronic lateness can signal deeper imbalances in a friendship — and that showing up matters, especially on a night that meant so much.
💭 Emotional Reflection
This story speaks to boundaries, expectation-setting, and how chronic lateness can hurt more than just schedules — it can erode trust. The teen wasn’t unreasonable for wanting their friends to show up on time, especially for a meaningful tradition on their last childhood Halloween.
The friend’s accusation of “rudeness” reverses the situation, ignoring how long the teen waited and how many excuses were given. It reflects how mismatched priorities often strain friendships as kids near adulthood.
Reasonable people might debate whether waiting another 30 minutes would have salvaged the night, but most would agree that waiting more than an hour for people who weren’t even en route was already a generous effort.
Here’s how people might react to the situation:
Your kid waited over an hour — that’s more than fair. The friend calling it rude is classic blame-shifting.
If the meet-up is 15 minutes away and they hadn’t left after an hour, they weren’t planning to respect your kid’s time.
Chronic lateness is a form of disrespect — your teen deserved better for their last Halloween.
Reactions would likely stress that the parent made a reasonable call, the teen’s feelings are valid, and the friend’s guilt trip reflects their own lack of consideration.
🌱 Final Thoughts
You did what parents do — protected your kid from an hour of cold, frustration, and false promises. Their disappointment is real, but it came from being let down, not from choosing to go home.
Friendships shift as teens get older, and sometimes a missed Halloween reveals who shows up and who doesn’t.
What do you think?
Would you have waited longer, or left after an hour like they did? Share your thoughts below 👇
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