AITA for calling my longtime friend a "snob" after she insulted my first car?
I (F23) bought an old but road-safe car after passing my driving test. A close friend has a brand-new car through a motability scheme and has been openly rude about my vehicle — I snapped. Was I wrong?
I've known "Molly" since childhood — we're both 23 — and we're the only two people in our friend group with cars. I bought a cheap 2004 car I can afford; Molly has a 2025 model she gets through the UK's motability scheme because a family member uses a wheelchair. Lately she's been making repeated, unprompted digs about my car when I drive the group, and it came to a head on a night out when I told her to stop being a snob.
I felt attacked over my first car — I told her she was being a snob after repeated, snide comments about my two-door, no-Bluetooth car, and now our group is awkward and she says I'm being ableist.
Molly and I have been friends since childhood and are both 23. After I passed my driving test I bought an affordable 2004 car — functional but basic: two doors, no Bluetooth. Molly drives a new 2025 model through the motability scheme because a sibling uses a wheelchair. What started as a few offhand remarks — calling the car "silly" and pointing out missing features — became a steady stream of comments whenever I gave lifts to our group.
"Why don't you just trade the car in and buy a nicer one that won't break down in a few months?"
The comments included complaints about the two doors, lack of Bluetooth, and suggestions I should "just save up and buy another car." Other friends didn't join in; they changed the subject. On the night I was driving everyone to a bar, Molly kept criticising my car and I finally snapped: I told her to stop being a snob. She replied that she wasn't a snob and was "just saying what everyone is thinking," which shut the ride into an awkward silence and led her to take an Uber home.
"I'm just saying what everyone is thinking."
The next day Molly messaged the group, calling my comment ableist because I suggested her car was a "handout" and demanding an apology. I pushed back, saying she owed me one for the repeated rude comments. She left me on read, the group is awkward, and I'm left questioning whether I overreacted or if her behaviour justified my words.
🏠 The Aftermath
After the argument, Molly left the car ride early and took an Uber home. She then posted in the group chat accusing me of being ableist and asking for an apology; I refused. She has since left me on read.
Friends are acting awkward around both of us during hangouts and conversations have cooled — no one has taken a clear side, but the atmosphere is tense.
Concrete consequences so far: strained group dynamics, less communication with Molly, and social discomfort when I offer lifts because people remember the confrontation.
Sometimes a line is crossed more in tone than intent — and everyone notices the silence after it happens.
I feel mixed: vindicated that I stood up for myself, but also uneasy about how quickly things escalated and that a long friendship is now strained over repeated comments.
💭 Emotional Reflection
This situation mixes tone, privilege, and sensitivity. Molly's car exists because of disability support for her family member — that context matters and makes direct comparisons about "handouts" fraught. At the same time, repeatedly mocking a friend's modest choices (an affordable first car) is dismissive and hurtful. Both the ongoing comments and the sharp retort were avoidable.
A clearer conversation — where Molly explained why she made those remarks and OP explained how they felt belittled — might have prevented escalation. The ability to afford a newer car doesn't give someone licence to repeatedly shame friends for what they can reasonably afford.
Reasonable people can disagree here: Molly may have thought she was making harmless observations, while OP perceived them as snobbish. The fallout shows how repeated micro-insults build until someone finally pushes back.
Here are three ways the community might react to this mess:
She kept making unprompted digs — OP had every right to call out the snobbery, but calling the car a "handout" was a clumsy line to take.
Molly should apologise for being rude; the motability context makes the "handout" comment especially sensitive, so both need to own up to poor phrasing.
This is mostly a communication failure — OP could gently explain why the comments hurt and Molly could explain her intention, then set boundaries about joking about finances or cars.
Responses tend to cluster around two themes: standing up to repeated rudeness, and acknowledging the additional sensitivity because Molly's car is tied to disability support.
🌱 Final Thoughts
This episode is a reminder that persistence matters — repeated small slights compound until someone snaps. Standing up for yourself is valid, but the aftermath shows the value of choosing words carefully, especially when disability and resources are involved.
A better outcome would come from a calm conversation where both people explain how they felt and agree on boundaries for teasing and comments.
What do you think?
Would you have left, or stayed and kept trying to make it work? Share your thoughts below 👇
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