I [29F] am traveling overseas to meet my online "boyfriend" [38M] in a week. He just said he had to cancel

My Online Boyfriend Canceled Our First Meet-Up a Week Before My Trip

A woman planned to travel overseas to finally meet the man she’d been falling for online—only for him to suddenly cancel with a dramatic explanation. What followed became a turning point in her life.

After five months of intense online connection with a man she met through r/penpals, a 29-year-old booked a flight to Ireland to meet her 38-year-old online boyfriend. Everything was planned, the excitement was real, and both had invested emotionally—until, just seven days before she was due to land, he sent a long message saying he had to cancel because his ex-girlfriend had been in a serious car accident.

I went from excited to heartbroken in minutes—one message turned my dream trip into a nightmare of doubt and confusion.

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The two had developed an intense connection: daily texts, hours-long FaceTime calls, sharing intimate details, and bonding over shared heartbreak. After two months, she booked a trip to Ireland to finally meet him. He told his family about her, shared photos, and planned everything they’d do together. But one morning, a video message shattered the excitement—he said his ex-girlfriend had been in a horrific accident and he wouldn’t be able to meet her.

“I feel sick. I feel like a fool. In seven days I’ll be in a country where I don’t know anyone.”

She begged him not to cancel, trying to be supportive while panicking about being alone in a foreign country. His responses were vague—“I’ll try,” “I have to sort this out”—which only made her feel more confused and betrayed. Eventually, she confronted him on FaceTime, ended things, and refused his attempts to postpone the trip or send her money.

“Whatever we had is over—I can’t trust you anymore.”

Despite everything, she decided to go to Ireland anyway. Her solo trip turned into a life-changing adventure full of new friends, beautiful sights, and unexpected joy. She even met a kind Redditor who showed her around and a few charming Irish guys along the way. The last message from her online ex felt insincere, confirming she made the right decision.

🏠 The Aftermath

After ending things, she flew to Ireland solo and ended up having an incredible trip without him.

She explored Dublin, met kind locals, connected with fellow travelers, and even enjoyed the company of some cute Irish boys.

Emotionally, she realized she had ignored red flags due to loneliness and learned she was far more self-reliant than she thought.

Sometimes canceling the guy is better than canceling the adventure.

She felt a mix of liberation and self-respect, recognizing that trusting herself was the best decision she could have made.

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💭 Emotional Reflection

This story highlights how online intimacy can blur judgment, especially after heartbreak. Both were vulnerable, but the sudden cancellation and evasive behavior revealed an imbalance of honesty and trust. While his situation might have been real, the lack of clarity left her feeling misled.

Her trip became a powerful reminder that self-worth can’t depend on someone who won’t show up. Instead, the journey helped her rediscover independence, confidence, and the value of building real-life connections.

Some will argue he had legitimate reasons; others will say it was a classic disappearing act. The truth lies somewhere in the complicated middle—where intentions, timing, and emotional readiness collide.

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Redditors had strong and supportive takes on her situation.

You absolutely made the right call—his behavior was sketchy from the moment he canceled.

Going on the trip anyway was a power move. You reclaimed your narrative.

This was a blessing in disguise. Now you know what you deserve—and what you won’t tolerate.

Many commenters applauded her independence, criticized the boyfriend’s timing, and focused on the lessons she learned rather than the relationship she left behind.

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🌱 Final Thoughts

Sometimes the universe pulls people out of our path so we can find ourselves instead. What began as heartbreak became an empowering solo adventure filled with growth and discovery.

Losing the relationship hurt, but gaining clarity, confidence, and unforgettable experiences made the journey worthwhile.

What do you think?
Would you have left, or stayed and kept trying to make it work? Share your thoughts below 👇

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