Living With Chronic Pain After Sexual Assault: A Survivor’s Struggle to Heal
Two years after a violent assault, a survivor is still battling daily physical pain and emotional shame — pain doctors dismissed, and pain she never asked for. This is her story of trauma, survival, and trying to reclaim her body.
Two years ago, the man she was dating broke into her home, assaulted her, and caused severe injury. Since that night, every trip to the bathroom has been painful — bleeding, burning, constant pressure, and moments where standing or walking feels impossible. A colonoscopy finally confirmed chronic hemorrhoids, yet her doctor dismissed any connection to the trauma, even though symptoms started immediately after the assault. Sharing her experience anonymously is her way of releasing shame and acknowledging the lifelong physical effects caused by someone else’s choices.
I’ve lived every day for two years with pain that began the night I was assaulted — and even now, sharing it feels embarrassing, even though none of it is my fault.
The assault left her with bleeding nearly every time she used the bathroom, intense pain afterward, and a constant sensation of needing to go. Sitting on the toilet became her only relief. After two years she finally had a colonoscopy, and doctors confirmed hemorrhoids — but her primary physician dismissed the cause, ignoring the direct link between that night and her symptoms.
"I have to suffer physically every day because of a man’s choice."
The shame she carries isn’t hers to hold. She feels embarrassed even describing her symptoms, despite knowing they began because someone violated her body. Along with the pain, anniversaries trigger memories — but she’s finding small ways to reclaim them. On the two-year mark, she bought two mini tiramisus, lit candles, and turned the date into a symbolic moment of survival instead of trauma.
"It feels vile to even say it out loud — but getting it out here feels strangely healing."
After her post, she discovered many others suffer similar long-term injuries after assault, which brought comfort and a sense of community. She’s seeking support, acknowledging her trauma, and refusing to stay silent about the pain she didn’t choose — or deserve.
🏠 The Aftermath
Physically, the symptoms continue daily: pain, bleeding, and discomfort that affects her ability to stand, walk, or rest. Emotionally, anniversaries reopen wounds, but she’s creating new rituals to reclaim her power.
Community support surprised her — others shared similar experiences, reminding her she’s not alone. Sharing her story publicly, even anonymously, gave her validation she wasn’t receiving from her doctor.
She now marks the date each year not to mourn what happened, but to honor the strength it took to survive it. She’s working with a therapist and leaning on family for stability and healing.
Survival doesn’t always look triumphant — sometimes it looks like lighting candles for yourself.
She still struggles with shame, but she’s slowly learning that the shame belongs to her attacker, not her. With each act of honesty, she chips away at the silence she was never meant to carry alone.
💭 Emotional Reflection
Trauma leaves more than emotional scars — it can change a body in ways people rarely talk about. Her story highlights how survivors often face physical fallout long after the event, and how dismissal by medical professionals can deepen the wound.
She's not wrong for hurting. She’s not wrong for grieving her body, her comfort, or her sense of safety. And she’s not wrong for seeking connection or validation after years of silent suffering. Healing is rarely linear, and reclaiming anniversaries or sharing painful details can be acts of courage.
Survivors may disagree on the best path forward — therapy, medical advocacy, or storytelling — but most agree that speaking out is often the first step toward feeling whole again.
Here’s how others typically respond to stories like hers:
You’re not disgusting — you’re injured, and you deserve proper care and compassion.
Your doctor dismissing the connection doesn’t erase what happened — your body has been telling the truth the whole time.
Lighting candles and reclaiming the anniversary is powerful — it shows you’re surviving on your own terms.
Most reactions emphasize compassion, validation, and the reminder that her pain is real, her story matters, and none of this was her fault.
🌱 Final Thoughts
Healing from trauma means honoring both the emotional and physical wounds — even the ones that feel too uncomfortable to say out loud. Your body deserved protection; instead, it was harmed. But sharing your story is a step toward reclaiming it.
What happened to you was violence. What you are doing now — surviving, speaking, reclaiming, healing — is strength.
What do you think?
How do you feel survivors can best reclaim their bodies and anniversaries after trauma? Share your thoughts below 👇
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