He cheated, left us, begged to come back — now he wants another chance and I said no
After nearly eight years together and two-and-a-half years of marriage, a one-time separation exposed an affair, repeated betrayals, and a final decision to divorce — then the ex reappeared, desperate to reconcile.
We’d been together almost eight years and married for two and a half. In May 2019 he left suddenly — moved back to his hometown and took our toddler with him emotionally while I stayed working in another city. Months later he wanted to try again, so I commuted, looked for jobs near him, and sacrificed to make the family work. Just before moving into the house we were buying and starting a new job, I discovered he’d been having an affair; after more lies and more contact with the other woman, I stopped begging and decided I wanted a divorce.
I spent months commuting and holding the family together, only to catch him cheating right before we were supposed to move in — I gave him a chance and he lied again, so I chose divorce and eventually found real happiness.
We met years earlier and built a life: a toddler, plans to buy a house, and careers. In May 2019 he left suddenly and moved back to his hometown; later he wanted to reunite and I commuted, cared for our child during the week, and interviewed until I landed a job in December. A week before moving into the new house I discovered he’d been having an affair.
"He begged and pleaded for me to stay... I foolishly agreed to give him another chance."
Two days after I agreed he unblocked the other woman and liked her pictures. He then kicked me out of the house we were supposed to move into, two days before my new job started, and we’ve lived separately since. He called for divorce multiple times and also kept contacting the affair partner — I saw her car at his house and took photos for our lawyers; he admitted ongoing contact.
"When I asked why he changed his mind he said it was because I 'seemed stronger'."
About a month after I stopped begging and limited contact to co-parenting, he suddenly said he was desperate to get the family back and claimed he would do anything. He unfollowed and unliked the other woman online, but I’d already moved on emotionally. I wanted a divorce; he said he didn’t. My attempts to tell him clearly that there was no chance fell on deaf ears.
🏠 The Aftermath
The OP followed through: she filed for divorce and later confirmed the ex was still seeing the affair partner even while begging to return. The marriage ended and she reports feeling liberated.
Logistics: they’ve lived separately since the break; she handled moves and work while he stayed in his hometown. She took evidence of his ongoing contact with the other woman for legal purposes and initiated divorce proceedings; at one point he was about to be served, and in the update the divorce is finalized.
Concrete consequences included ending the toxic, unstable relationship, establishing separate living arrangements, and clearing the way for healthier co-parenting boundaries; emotionally she regained independence and safety for herself and her daughter.
She fixed a broken situation and felt an enormous weight lift off her shoulders.
The outcome carried bittersweet emotions—relief and anger at the deception, but also joy: soon after, she met someone at a wedding, fell in love, and found a partner who treats her and her daughter with kindness and respect.
💭 Emotional Reflection
This is a story about betrayal, boundary-setting, and reclaiming life. The OP poured energy into saving the marriage—commuting, interviewing, and preparing to move—only to be betrayed again; her choice to stop performing for the relationship and to pursue divorce was a boundary that protected her and her child.
Her experience shows how inconsistent partners can weaponize vulnerability: his pleas and showy apologies didn’t match his actions. Choosing divorce wasn’t cruel — it was a refusal to accept repeated harm. The later relationship she found reinforces that leaving made space for something healthier.
There’s nuance: co-parenting requires civility and practical cooperation, and the OP kept communication about their child while shutting down romantic access. Reasonable people may disagree about trying harder versus leaving, but here the pattern of leaving/returning/cheating made staying untenable.
Here’s how the community might react to her story:
You gave him chance after chance — you prioritized the family and he betrayed that trust. Choosing divorce was self-preservation, not cruelty.
Good on you for documenting contact and protecting your daughter; evidence matters in messy breakups like this.
Finding someone who treats you and your child with respect proves leaving was the right move — the new relationship sounds genuinely healthy.
Responses would likely mix sympathy for the emotional labor she performed, praise for setting boundaries and pursuing divorce, and relief at her later happiness; common themes are accountability, self-worth, and co-parenting practicality.
🌱 Final Thoughts
This is a clear example of someone who tried to hold a family together, faced repeated betrayal, and ultimately prioritized safety and dignity for herself and her child. The decision to divorce—backed by evidence and firm boundaries—allowed her to heal and find a kinder partner.
It’s a reminder that consistent actions matter more than promises, and that choosing yourself can create space for genuine joy.
What do you think?
Would you have stayed to keep trying, or left and rebuilt like she did? Share your thoughts below 👇
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