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Dirty crush from college moved to my town

AITA for Not Telling My Husband About My Past with a Neighbor?

As a college freshman, I had an obsessive crush on a senior that led to some questionable interactions. Now, years later, he's my neighbor, and I'm unsure whether to disclose our history to my husband.

When I was a freshman in college, I fixated on a senior, craving his attention even at the expense of his relationship. Despite his initial refusals, I pursued him relentlessly, seeking validation at any cost.

Fast forward to today, I find myself happily married with two kids. To my surprise, the senior from college, now married to the same woman, has become my neighbor, sparking anxiety over our shared history.

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“I was pitiful. I even got off on the evidence that she was there (even her underwear. Ugh)”

My past encounters with him, driven by obsession and self-loathing, now cast a shadow on my present as I grapple with the decision to reveal this dark chapter to my spouse.

“Do I tell my husband or pretend I don’t know him?”

Should I disclose my history with this neighbor, risking my current marital harmony, or keep this unsettling secret buried?

🏠 The Aftermath

Revealing my past interactions with the neighbor could have significant repercussions on my family dynamics. However, concealing this information may lead to further discomfort and guilt over time.

My husband may experience a mix of emotions upon learning about my history, potentially impacting our trust and communication.

Navigating interactions with the neighbor and his family post-revelation might create awkwardness and tension in our shared community.

“To disclose or not to disclose—both paths carry weighty consequences.”

Balancing the desire for transparency with the fear of disrupting my current life poses a challenging dilemma that demands careful consideration and introspection.

💭 Emotional Reflection

Reflecting on my past actions, I acknowledge the harm caused by my unhealthy fixation and the complex emotions now surfacing due to this unexpected reunion.

Considering the implications of my choices on my family and the neighbor’s, I grapple with the ethical responsibility to come clean or shield my loved ones from discomfort.

The nuances of this situation underscore the delicate balance between transparency and protecting the peace of my current life, prompting introspection and moral deliberation.


Confronted with this moral dilemma, would you prioritize honesty or secrecy in a similar scenario?

“Disclosing the truth may offer closure but risks turmoil within the family.”
“Keeping the past buried could preserve harmony but lead to internal conflict.”
“Navigating this situation delicately is crucial to safeguarding relationships.”

The community's responses reflect the gravity of this decision, with varying opinions on the best course of action and the potential outcomes of disclosure or concealment.


🌱 Final Thoughts

Choosing between honesty and privacy in situations like these underscores the complexity of human relationships and the enduring impact of past actions on the present.

To tell or not to tell—a dilemma that echoes the past's haunting uncertainty, beckoning us to consider the weight of our choices and their repercussions.

What do you think?
Would you have left, or stayed and kept trying to make it work? Share your thoughts below 👇


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