AITA for Adopting My Deceased Friend's Daughter and Not Correcting People Who Assume She's Mine?
I, 30 M, have a daughter who's 6. I am not biologically related to her *at all*. There is no blood relation between us.
I was friends with her mother for most all of my childhood. We were never involved romantically and were always just friends. She had her daughter at 23 with her 25 year old husband. When my daughter was a newborn (About 3 months technically) both her mother and father were killed. I won't go into too much detail for privacy reasons, but it was workplace shooting. My friend and her husband had worked in the same building, and were both killed.
I never really hid the fact that she was adopted, she knows her parents are dead and were killed by a "bad man" but I'm saving the details for when she's older.
Lily does not look like me at all. She looks exactly like her mother and biological dad.
My SIL got a DNA test done on my daughter behind my back. She used my brother's DNA for the test, and when it came back that they weren't related, she knew that meant me and Lily weren't related. She came up to me with the results and waved them in my face, saying that I was taking care of a dead woman's a****r baby. She said this to me in front of my daughter.
I told her I knew Lily wasn't my biological daughter, and that this thing called adoption exists.
My brother is mad I embarrassed his fiancee, but I said she embarrassed herself by DNA testing a kid that isn't hers and then parading the results up to me. What did she want me to do? What was her goal with this?
🏠 The Aftermath
In the aftermath, I stood my ground and affirmed my relationship with Lily.
My SIL's actions caused tension within the family, but ultimately strengthened my bond with Lily.
The consequences of her actions led to a strained relationship between my SIL and me.
Sometimes, ignorance can be more hurtful than helpful.
Despite the drama, I find solace in knowing that Lily is loved and cared for.
💭 Emotional Reflection
Reflecting on the situation, I feel validated in my decision to protect Lily's identity and well-being.
It's a reminder that family isn't just about blood, but about love, commitment, and care.
While opinions may vary, the priority remains ensuring Lily's happiness and security.
The community would likely respond with:
"Your SIL overstepped her boundaries and caused unnecessary drama."
"Adoption is a beautiful thing, and you did the right thing by providing for Lily."
"Your SIL's actions were intrusive and disrespectful to your family's dynamics."
The responses highlight the intrusion and insensitivity displayed by the SIL, emphasizing the importance of respecting familial relationships.
🌱 Final Thoughts
In the end, the love and care provided to Lily outweigh any biological connections, proving that family is more than just DNA.
Despite the challenges, standing up for Lily's identity and security was a non-negotiable priority.
What do you think?
Would you have left, or stayed and kept trying to make it work? Share your thoughts below 👇
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