My employer requests after sick leaves, that I describe my symptoms. So I do.

My Employer Requests Symptom Descriptions After Sick Leave — So I Give Them in Graphic Detail

When a Finnish worker got tired of his company’s invasive sick-leave forms, he decided to make management regret asking for “symptom details” — with hilariously graphic honesty.

I (36M) work for a company that makes everyone fill out a form when returning from sick leave. It’s mostly standard HR paperwork — dates, category of illness, authorization, that kind of thing. But there’s one section that always rubbed me the wrong way: a box asking employees to “describe your symptoms.”

It’s obviously meant to weed out people faking their absences, but it always felt too personal and intrusive. So, after a while, I decided to make the system work against itself. If they wanted details — I’d give them details.

Here are a few of my favorite entries over the years:

• “My diarrhoea was so loose it bordered on drinkable water.”
• “The clumps of phlegm I coughed up could stick light objects to walls. This is a confirmed fact.”
• “While I didn’t test it, my bowel movements behaved as a non-Newtonian fluid.”
• “The p_ss-filled discharge smelled so bad it could knock out small mammals.”

The Accounting Department Didn’t See It Coming

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At first, my boss didn’t quite know how to react. She’d corner me in the hallway and say things like, “I… read your report,” with this haunted look in her eyes. But eventually she got used to it. These days, she just sighs and mutters that she feels bad for the accountants who actually have to process my forms.

I’ve never met anyone from accounting, but they’ve kept this same form for years — so maybe they secretly enjoy my poetic medical oversharing. Or maybe they’re just too polite to say anything.

“If they’re going to pry into my bodily functions, they’d better be ready for vivid prose.”

The Legal Side (and the Laughs)

For those wondering, this isn’t some big HR violation. I live in Finland, and technically there’s no law requiring me to list symptoms. I could leave it blank, and no one would care. But where’s the fun in that?

I’m not trying to get anyone in trouble — I just think companies should mind their own business. If they insist on making people write out their misery for a spreadsheet, I’ll make sure the experience is memorable.

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Petty Compliance Done Right

Every time I submit a new “illness report,” I imagine some poor HR clerk opening my file with trembling hands. Maybe one day they’ll remove that unnecessary symptom section altogether. Until then, I’ll keep blessing their spreadsheets with my biological poetry.

It’s not rebellion. It’s art. Bureaucratic art.

“My symptoms were dramatic. My compliance? Perfect.”

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Typical reader reactions:

“This is the perfect example of malicious compliance — beautifully disgusting.”

“Accounting probably has a Slack channel called ‘OP’s Greatest Hits.’”

“You’re not the hero we asked for, but definitely the one HR deserves.”

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🌱 Final Thoughts

Sometimes fighting corporate nonsense doesn’t take a protest — just a creative pen and a healthy sense of humor. OP’s detailed honesty may be horrifying, but it’s a masterclass in petty compliance and poetic justice.

What do you think?
Should HR drop these invasive questions, or should more employees answer them with flair? Share your thoughts below 👇

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