AITA for Making My Husband Choose My Pregnancy Needs Over His Parents’ Comfort?

At 37 weeks and days away from a planned C-section, I asked my husband to prioritize medical guidance and my comfort over his parents’ preferences. He says I should “adjust” while they settle in; I’m not so sure.

I’m 35F, due for a C-section this week because of complications with our baby. My husband (35M) invited his parents to stay “to help,” but since they arrived I’m cooking and cleaning for four while heavily pregnant. The real clash is over temperature, visitors, and boundaries for a high-risk newborn—his parents can’t tolerate the cold, I’m running hot, and the medical advice we’ve been given keeps getting framed as me being paranoid.

I warned everyone it would be cold, I’m overheated from pregnancy, and the midwives said the baby’s room must stay at or below 20°C—yet I’m the one told to adjust while his parents get their way.

We’re both 35. I’m 37 weeks and running hot, while his parents—here for the newborn—struggle with autumn chill even though the house is heated to 20°C. I’m in summer clothes; they complain about the cold multiple times a day. I offered extra layers and blankets, which were refused at first. Meanwhile, I asked for basic newborn boundaries: no visitors until vaccinations because of complications, no kissing his face, and keeping the baby’s room at or below 20°C per the midwives.

"I don’t feel like he’s on my team and I’m being forced to do all the adjusting."

Tension spiked when his mom complained about being cold while visiting relatives. My husband came home and immediately turned on the heater for the night. I warned him it would be too hot, but he said, “what else was he supposed to do,” and left it on. I sweated through my clothes and sheets. He also pushed back on my visitor and temperature rules—saying sick guests would let us know, that “kids in the tropics sleep in warmer rooms,” and that an old day-28 tradition his mom mentioned would “make her happy.”

"He says it’s just a discussion, but it feels like he thinks I’m irrational and paranoid."

I told him plainly that I need him to prioritize medical guidance and my comfort ahead of his parents’ preferences, especially this close to surgery. He says I should adjust “for a while” until they adjust. I’m asking if I’m overreacting, because right now every compromise seems to land on me.

🏠 The Aftermath

After the overheated night, things are tense. His parents remain in the house, the C-section is days away, and boundaries around visitors, kissing, and room temperature are still being debated.

I’m still handling meals and cleanup; they keep the guest rooms, I stay in our bedroom trying to stay cool, and I’ve offered extra layers and blankets for them to use.

The immediate consequence is stress: poor sleep for me, ongoing complaints about the cold from them, and repeated arguments about newborn safety and traditions. My sister plans to come help in February; my own mom has passed, so my usual support isn’t available.

"Peace shouldn’t come at the expense of the person about to give birth."

I’m not trying to win; I’m trying to keep our baby safe and follow medical advice. I feel guilty about the conflict, but I also feel dismissed when my needs are treated as negotiable.

💭 Emotional Reflection

There isn’t a villain here so much as a clash of priorities: elders coping with cold, a husband trying to keep the peace, and a very pregnant woman asking for medical guidance to be the default. The friction shows how “just a discussion” can feel invalidating when one party bears all the discomfort.

With a high-risk newborn on the way, safety rules and sleep conditions matter. Layering up guests and limiting early visitors aren’t power plays—they’re practical steps. Setting these boundaries now could prevent bigger conflicts once the baby arrives.

Reasonable people can disagree on temperature and traditions, but it’s fair to expect the person about to undergo surgery and postpartum recovery to be prioritized. Respect and clear boundaries are the only real path to harmony here.

Readers weighed in on the balancing act between guest comfort and perinatal care.

"Guests can wear sweaters; a recovering mom can’t peel off her skin. Keep the house at 20°C and follow the midwives."

"No kissing newborns and limited visitors during complications isn’t paranoid—it’s baseline safety."

"Traditions are fine when parents agree. If you discussed it and said no, that boundary should stand."

Most supported prioritizing OP’s medical needs and the baby’s safety, while acknowledging the in-laws traveled far and may struggle with the climate. The common theme: boundaries first, accommodations second.

🌱 Final Thoughts

In the final stretch before surgery, “keeping the peace” shouldn’t mean sacrificing the mother’s health or the baby’s safety. Guests can adapt; medical advice shouldn’t.

Warm layers for them, cooler temps for you—and clear boundaries for everyone.

What do you think?
Would you have left, or stayed and kept trying to make it work? Share your thoughts below 👇