AITA for Telling a Social Worker Why My Sister Really Wanted a Foster Kid?

When a social worker came asking for a reference, I had to decide between family loyalty and protecting a vulnerable child. What I said ended up ruining my sister’s plans—and our relationship.

A 28-year-old woman shared how her older sister, Jane, wanted to foster a teenager—not out of compassion, but as a source of free labor. After years of being exploited by her sister while living under her roof, she finally drew a line when Jane put her down as a reference for a foster care application. Faced with the truth, she told the social worker everything.

I didn’t want to ruin my sister’s life—but I couldn’t let a foster kid become her next unpaid babysitter.

Jane, 36, is married with two kids and runs a small cookie business. Her younger sister once lived with her for two years, during which she was treated like unpaid help—forced to hand over part of her wages and babysit constantly. When the younger sister finally escaped, she kept her distance. Then Jane announced she wanted to “foster” a teen, not to help, but to gain a live-in helper for housework, childcare, and baking.

"They’ll be so grateful for a home and won’t complain. I won’t have to pay them at all."

Disturbed by her sister’s attitude, the OP warned her it was unethical and cruel, but Jane ignored her. When a social worker later contacted OP as a reference, she decided she couldn’t stay silent. She described exactly how Jane had treated her and explained her sister’s real motives for fostering.

"I told the social worker why my sister really wanted a foster kid—and how she treated me when I lived with her."

Soon after, Jane called crying—her application was denied. The agency said her home wasn’t a good fit. When OP admitted she’d told the truth, Jane exploded, accusing her of betrayal. Now, some relatives blame OP, insisting that foster kids should be “grateful for a roof.”

🏠 The Aftermath

Jane’s fostering application was officially denied, and the two sisters stopped speaking. OP received angry texts and criticism from a few family members, but others quietly thanked her for protecting potential foster teens.

Jane kept her home, her kids, and her business—but lost her sister’s trust. OP maintained her independence and stood by her decision.

The fallout strained the family dynamic, but the foster care agency avoided placing a teen in what could’ve been an exploitative environment.

"Sometimes doing the right thing looks like betrayal to the wrong person."

Though hurt by the rift, OP expressed no regret, believing honesty protected a child from harm. The irony is that her sister still sees herself as the victim, not the one who almost victimized someone else.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This story highlights how family ties can clash with moral responsibility. OP faced a painful choice between keeping peace with her sister and safeguarding a child’s wellbeing. Her decision underscores the reality that good intentions mean nothing without empathy and respect.

Jane’s idea reflected a troubling misunderstanding of foster care—it’s not a way to outsource parenting or chores. Her sister’s honesty may have prevented deeper harm, even if it fractured their bond.

While some readers empathize with Jane’s stress as a mother, most agree that exploiting a foster child crosses a line. Reasonable people can debate methods—but not morality.

The comment section was split, but most sided with OP for speaking up.

"You protected a kid from being treated like a maid. That’s not snitching—it’s decency."

"Your sister doesn’t want a family member; she wants staff. Social services did the right thing."

"Family or not, exploiting kids for free labor is disgusting. You did the right thing."

Reactions praised OP’s courage but acknowledged the emotional cost of standing up to family. The thread became a broader discussion about ethics in fostering and the hidden exploitation that sometimes lurks behind “helping.”

🌱 Final Thoughts

Telling the truth can feel cruel when it hurts someone you love—but silence would have hurt someone far more vulnerable. OP chose the harder, lonelier path in the name of conscience.

Sometimes protecting a stranger means losing a sister—but gaining peace of mind.

What do you think?
Would you have left, or stayed and kept trying to make it work? Share your thoughts below 👇