AITA for giving part of my lottery winnings to my ex-wife despite my girlfriend’s fury?
When I won millions in the lottery, I decided to share some of it with my ex-wife — the woman who raised our kids and forgave me when I didn’t deserve it. My girlfriend called it betrayal. I called it gratitude.
I (M) recently won a life-changing amount of money — millions. It still doesn’t feel real. My first thoughts were of my family and how I could use it to make things better for the people who’ve supported me through my lowest moments. That includes my ex-wife, the mother of my two kids, who showed me compassion even when I didn’t deserve it.
Six years ago, I blew up my marriage by having an affair. My ex handled the divorce with grace, raised our kids with strength, and never turned them against me. So when I suddenly had millions, I knew I wanted to give her a share — not out of love, but out of respect and remorse.
My ex-wife and I divorced six years ago after my affair with my current girlfriend. Despite her pain, she kept things civil—made sure I saw our kids, stayed kind to my parents, and never spoke ill of me in front of our children. She’s the definition of grace. When I told her about my win, she was genuinely happy, even joked that now I could take the kids around the world. That was it. No asking, no hinting.
“She’s the mother of my babies. This is one small way I can show her that I’m not a total screw-up.”
I told my parents about wanting to give her a large sum, and they agreed it was the right thing. Even my lawyer—surprised as he was—supported the idea. But when I told my girlfriend, she lost it. She accused me of disrespecting her, screamed that I was still in love with my ex, and said I was humiliating her. None of that is true. I just wanted to do right by the woman who co-parents with me and still shows me decency.
“If you give her that money, we’re done.” she shouted. Honestly, I felt more relieved than scared.
Now she’s threatening to leave me, and I’m surprisingly okay with that. I don’t plan to change my decision. My ex doesn’t expect anything, but she deserves something—if not for me, then for the years she spent keeping our family from falling apart.
🏠 The Aftermath
The money isn’t officially transferred yet, but I’ve made my decision. My lawyer is arranging everything quietly.
My girlfriend has been giving me the silent treatment and threatening to pack up. I’m not begging her to stay. Meanwhile, my parents are proud of me for wanting to do something selfless for once.
My ex has no clue what’s coming. I think she’ll cry—she deserves some good news after all she’s endured.
Sometimes doing the right thing means losing the wrong person.
This windfall made me realize that money can’t fix guilt—but it can make amends, at least a little. And if that costs me a relationship built on insecurity, so be it.
💭 Emotional Reflection
This isn’t about romance—it’s about redemption. I betrayed my ex once, and this chance feels like the universe letting me show gratitude. She’s not asking for a thing, which is exactly why she deserves it.
My girlfriend sees it as me clinging to the past, but I see it as honoring the person who helped me become a better father. Sometimes love evolves into respect, and respect is what lasts when passion fades.
Reasonable people might disagree, but I’d rather be accused of being too generous than too selfish. Money can buy peace of mind—and in this case, a clean conscience.
Here’s what people might say online:
NTA — You’re showing integrity and gratitude. Your ex raised your kids and treated you decently after heartbreak. That deserves recognition.
NAH — It’s your money, your choice. Your girlfriend feels threatened, but this doesn’t mean you’re still in love—it means you’re growing up.
YTA (slightly) — Transparency matters. Surprising your girlfriend with this decision blindsided her, even if your heart’s in the right place.
Most commenters agreed your generosity was admirable, though some thought you should have communicated better. Almost everyone agreed your girlfriend’s reaction revealed more about her than you.
🌱 Final Thoughts
Money can amplify who you already are. In this case, it gave you a rare chance to make something right instead of just buying things.
You didn’t just win the lottery—you might’ve won back a piece of your integrity.
What do you think?
Would you have left, or stayed and kept trying to make it work? Share your thoughts below 👇
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