AITA for Hanging Up on My Future Mother-in-Law Before My Wedding?
Just days before my wedding, my future mother-in-law exploded over something she caused — and when I hung up to stop the yelling, she accused me of being disrespectful. Now I'm wondering if I crossed a line.
I got engaged last year and originally wanted a simple courthouse wedding, but my fiancé Gary’s mom insisted we "better not elope." That pressure pushed us into planning a wedding we couldn’t afford and didn’t want, leaving me stressed and depressed leading up to the big day. Things boiled over when she called outside the hours we told her not to — and proceeded to micromanage and yell about hotel arrangements she involved herself in without permission.
I hung up the phone to protect my peace, my home, and my partner — but now my future MIL says I “ruined her feelings” before the wedding.
Gary and I set a clear boundary: no calls after a certain time unless it’s an emergency. His mom ignored that and began lecturing him about the hotel for our post-ceremony stay — a hotel she contacted without asking us. When Gary said he would call them the next day, she escalated, accusing him of making her “look bad.”
"She started yelling that we 'made her look bad' when she was the one inserting herself."
She then claimed she and Gary’s dad “give us money left, right, and centre,” even though the only significant money she gave was $5,000 — a “gift” clearly meant to force us into inviting two of her friends. Gary was about to shout back when I stepped in to stop the yelling, took the phone, and ended the call so our home — and our pets — wouldn’t be flooded with chaos.
"We're busy. Goodbye."
Afterward she texted that I was “rude and disrespectful” and said she didn’t want to feel like that at the wedding — complete with a crying emoji. Meanwhile, I just wanted a peaceful home, especially for my cats who panic at raised voices.
🏠 The Aftermath
After the call, Gary’s mother sent a guilt-filled text accusing me of disrespecting her by hanging up.
• We maintained our boundary and haven’t apologized for ending the yelling. • Gary agrees his mother crossed a line and supports the decision to hang up. • MIL continues texting dramatic messages but hasn’t apologized for yelling or lying about “supporting us financially.”
The tension is now simmering right before the wedding, with MIL trying to position herself as the wronged party to guilt us into placating her.
Peace in your home is worth more than humoring someone else's entitlement.
It’s bittersweet — I’m excited to marry the man I love, but sad that basic boundaries cause so much drama with someone who refuses to respect them.
💭 Emotional Reflection
MIL’s behavior reflects a long-standing pattern of control, guilt trips, and emotional manipulation. It’s understandable that someone with that temperament sees any boundary as a personal attack. But enforcing boundaries isn’t disrespect — it’s protection.
The wedding planning stress made everything harder, but the root issue isn’t the event; it’s the expectation that everyone else must manage her feelings while she disregards theirs.
Some people think hanging up is rude; others believe removing yourself from a toxic escalation is the healthiest thing you can do. Reasonable minds can differ, but respecting boundaries is the real standard here.
Here’s how people might react to this situation:
You didn’t hang up on her to be rude — you did it to stop a fight she caused. That’s self-preservation, not disrespect.
Her calling outside the boundary and then yelling because you didn’t obey instantly is classic control behavior.
She’s using guilt and dramatics before your wedding to flip the script — don’t fall for it.
Overall, reactions lean toward supporting the hang-up as a necessary boundary, while others suggest Gary should take the lead in managing his mother going forward.
🌱 Final Thoughts
Ending a phone call to protect your peace — especially during a tense pre-wedding week — isn’t the same as disrespect. Boundaries exist for a reason, and enforcing them often upsets the very people who need those boundaries most.
Your MIL feels entitled to control the situation; you feel entitled to a calm home. Only one of those expectations is reasonable.
What do you think?
Would you have hung up, or stayed on the call and let the yelling continue? Share your thoughts below 👇
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