AITAH for Refusing to Center My Wedding Around My Sister’s “Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria”?
When a groom and his fiancée decided on a quiet city hall ceremony, his family accused him of being heartless—because his sister demanded a starring role and called his plans “rejection.”
The OP (30M) and his fiancée (30F) agreed on a simple, intimate wedding. After years of watching relatives spend fortunes on massive celebrations, they wanted to avoid the stress and cost. Their plan was straightforward: a brief city hall ceremony with immediate family and a few close friends, followed by dinner. But his older sister, who has ADHD and what she calls “rejection sensitive dysphoria,” saw the smaller guest list—and lack of wedding roles—as a personal attack.
She wanted to walk down the aisle before my wife, but we weren’t even having an aisle.
When OP’s sister learned there would be no bridesmaids, best men, or special roles, she demanded to be the maid of honor—or at least have her own “moment.” She even suggested walking down the aisle before the bride, declaring herself the “sister of the groom.” OP calmly explained there wouldn’t be an aisle or any roles at all. But she saw it as rejection and spiraled, prompting parents and in-laws to pressure him to change the plans “for her emotional well-being.”
“It gets annoying to have everything revolve around my sister’s feelings all the damn time.”
As the tension grew, OP finally told his family he didn’t care about her “rejection sensitivity” anymore—he and his fiancée were having the wedding they wanted. When they kept pushing, he drew a hard line: no more discussion. His family accused him of being cold and heartless, but OP stood firm, refusing to let his wedding become another episode in his sister’s lifelong drama.
“My fiancée and I are adults. We don’t live with any of them. We have jobs and our own money.”
Ultimately, the couple married at city hall surrounded by supportive friends and in-laws. They didn’t invite OP’s parents or sister after discovering his family had lied, claiming his father-in-law sided with them. The day went perfectly—simple, stress-free, and exactly what they’d envisioned. His family is still angry, but he has no regrets.
🏠 The Aftermath
OP and his wife had the peaceful ceremony they wanted: a small city hall wedding followed by dinner with loved ones who respected their choices. Everyone wore clothes they already owned, and the day focused solely on the couple’s happiness.
His family, however, erupted in outrage. They accused him of being “cruel” to his sister for excluding her. OP reminded them she’d been invited originally but lost that privilege by trying to dictate the event. His father-in-law even thanked him for keeping things simple.
Now married and content, OP says he feels nothing but relief. His sister’s emotions no longer run his life—or his milestones.
Your wedding isn’t therapy for someone else’s feelings.
While his family still complains, OP says he and his wife are “ecstatic” and done discussing it. For once, he drew a boundary—and kept it.
💭 Emotional Reflection
This story highlights a familiar family dynamic: one member’s sensitivities overshadow everyone else’s boundaries. While rejection-sensitive dysphoria is real and painful, it doesn’t excuse controlling behavior or entitlement to someone else’s wedding.
OP’s choice wasn’t cruel—it was an act of self-preservation. For once, he and his wife made a decision about their lives without catering to his sister’s emotional volatility. That boundary likely felt like rejection only because she’s never been told “no.”
Sometimes compassion means saying, “Your feelings matter—but they don’t override my autonomy.” And that’s exactly what OP did.
Readers shared strong opinions on OP’s firm stance.
“Having a mental health condition doesn’t mean the world has to rearrange itself for you.”
“You didn’t exclude her for being neurodivergent—you excluded her for being entitled.”
“Your wedding, your rules. You owed her kindness, not control.”
Most commenters agreed OP was right to draw a boundary, noting that empathy shouldn’t mean enabling manipulation. A few sympathized with the sister’s condition but acknowledged her family’s coddling had only made things worse.
🌱 Final Thoughts
Marriage is about partnership, not permission. OP’s quiet ceremony may have disappointed his family, but it gave him and his wife exactly what they wanted—a stress-free start built on mutual respect.
Sometimes love means celebrating small, standing firm, and refusing to let guilt write the guest list.
What do you think?
Was OP wrong to shut down his sister’s demands, or was this the healthy boundary his family needed years ago? Share your thoughts below 👇
0 Comments