AITA for refusing to give my sister part of my inheritance to pay for her wedding?
When my sister demanded $30,000 from my inheritance to fund her extravagant destination wedding — money our dad left me for caring for him — I told her no. Now she’s calling me selfish and uninvited me from the wedding.
I (28F) spent the last few years of my father’s life caring for him through a long illness. It was physically and emotionally draining — I managed his medications, appointments, bills, and late-night emergencies. My sister (32F) lived out of state and visited twice in that final year. She wasn’t cruel about it, but she definitely kept her distance, saying she had her own life to manage. I stayed, and Dad and I grew incredibly close because of it.
When Dad passed, his will clearly reflected his wishes — he left me a larger portion of his estate in gratitude for being his caretaker. My sister received sentimental items, but most of the money went to me. It was his way of saying thank you for the years I gave up to look after him.
The money wasn’t life-changing, but it was enough to clear my student debt and start saving toward a down payment on a house — finally some financial peace after years of sacrifice. Meanwhile, my sister inherited our dad’s classic car and a few heirlooms she’d always loved. I thought that was fair. But when she got engaged in May, things took a turn. Her dream wedding is a luxury destination event with designer everything. I assumed she was stretching her own budget — until she sat me down and said, “Dad would’ve wanted you to use some of that inheritance to make my wedding special.”
“It’s family money, and Dad would want you to share it — $30,000 would cover the venue and catering.”
I was stunned. I told her no — that the money was specifically left to me and I wasn’t going to use it on a wedding I’m not even involved in planning. She blew up, saying I was “choosing money over family.” Then my mom got involved, saying “family comes first” and that Dad would have wanted me to “help my sister start her new life.” I reminded her that Dad literally wrote his will — that was his last word on the matter. He knew exactly what he was doing.
“If Dad wanted to pay for your wedding, he would’ve left you the money himself.”
Now my sister says I’m punishing her for not being around during Dad’s illness. She’s told relatives I’m “spiteful” and “using Dad’s death to hold money hostage.” Some cousins have texted me guilt trips about “keeping peace” and “helping family.” Others told me flat out she’s being entitled. Last week, she uninvited me from the wedding altogether unless I “do the right thing.” My mom keeps saying I should pay “for the sake of peace,” but honestly? I think Dad already gave me his blessing — in writing.
🏠 The Aftermath
My sister hasn’t spoken to me since the blowup. My mom alternates between pleading and guilt-tripping. I told her firmly the conversation is closed. I’m keeping the money for what Dad intended — to secure my future, not bankroll someone else’s dream wedding.
Some extended family still side with my sister, but others finally admitted she’s been acting entitled. I’ve started therapy to help deal with the guilt and grief — it’s hard not to feel like I’m betraying my family even though I know I’m honoring my father’s wishes.
I’m not attending the wedding unless the situation changes, but at least I’ll have peace of mind — and maybe a down payment for my future home.
Boundaries don’t make you selfish — they protect what your sacrifices earned.
It hurts to stand alone, but I’d rather live with my sister’s anger than betray what my dad trusted me to do.
💭 Emotional Reflection
This isn’t about a wedding — it’s about respect for boundaries and grief. My sister avoided the hardest parts of our father’s decline, and now she’s rewriting history by framing her demands as “family loyalty.” I loved my dad deeply, and honoring his will is my way of keeping his trust alive.
It’s heartbreaking to feel like the “bad guy” for simply doing what’s fair. But fairness isn’t selfishness — it’s following through on what Dad wanted and recognizing that love doesn’t mean funding someone else’s fantasy.
I hope time heals things between us, but for now, peace means protecting what I’ve earned and what Dad intended for me.
Here’s what Reddit might say:
NTA — Your dad already decided how his estate should be split. Your sister wanting to rewrite his will for a party is disrespectful.
NTA — Weddings are optional. Education, debt, and a stable life aren’t. Don’t bankroll her choices.
ESH — Only because this whole family is making grief transactional. Your dad’s will should’ve ended the debate.
Most readers would agree: honoring a parent’s clear wishes doesn’t make you greedy. It makes you responsible. The will settled the question — your sister just doesn’t like the answer.
🌱 Final Thoughts
Love doesn’t come with a price tag. Your dad already paid you in gratitude, and you’ve earned the right to use that money for the life he wanted you to have.
You’re not ruining the family — you’re protecting the last gift your father gave you.
What do you think?
Would you have shared part of the inheritance for peace, or held firm to the will’s intentions? Share your thoughts below 👇
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