Is My Partner Sabotaging My Remote Dream Job?
A new mom landed her ideal remote position, but her partner’s refusal to help with childcare has her wondering if he’s actively undermining her success. The tension came to a head during her very first day back.
After returning from maternity leave with two children under two, the OP started a flexible, well-paying remote job she was excited about. Since both she and her partner work from home, they agreed to pull their kids from daycare to split childcare. But on the first day she needed uninterrupted time for meetings, her partner chose to leave the house for hours despite knowing her schedule, sparking a major conflict.
On the very day I needed him to watch our kids for just a brief window, he disappeared, yelled at me for asking for help, and made me question whether he wants me to fail at the one job I'm proud of.
The OP is 30, her partner is 45, and they have two young children. She handles most childcare, household duties, and emotional labor, while he frequently naps and avoids responsibility. He claims her job “contributes nothing,” doesn’t want her paying bills, and insists she should be home with the kids—yet also talks about wanting another child. The core friction comes from an uneven division of labor and his criticism anytime she needs help.
“I just needed 2 hours and that's not a lot to ask.”
The conflict escalated when he left the house all morning, then questioned why she hadn’t called him sooner. When she said she needed help for a meeting, he ranted that he “can’t do this every day,” threatened not to come home, screamed at her, and hung up. Even after returning, he threatened to kick her out and cut off the Wi-Fi for being “disrespectful,” then handed the kids to his mother while he slept.
“It sounds like you want to sabotage my job.”
By the end of the day, she had completed her calls, but the emotional damage was done. His threats, refusal to support her work, and dismissal of her contributions left her questioning his motives, fairness, and whether he wants to control her financially.
🏠 The Aftermath
After the argument, he retreated to bed while his mother stepped in to watch the kids instead of him.
She finished her meetings alone, still carrying the full emotional and practical load, while he avoided responsibility.
The imbalance remains: she works, cares for the children, and manages the home, while he criticizes her job and offers little support.
It’s hard to call it “help” when the person refuses to do the bare minimum.
She’s left feeling resentment and confusion, not triumph—aware of the irony that he demands another child while resisting caring for the ones they already have.
💭 Emotional Reflection
This situation highlights a deep mismatch in expectations: she believed they were partners sharing childcare, while he sees her work as optional and her time as less valuable. Miscommunication plays a role, but so does a lack of respect for boundaries and shared responsibility.
The emotional stakes are high—career security, financial independence, and the health of their relationship. When one person repeatedly dismisses the other's needs, resentment naturally grows.
Different people may disagree on how much help is “reasonable,” but the recurring threats, yelling, and refusal to communicate respectfully make this conflict more complicated than a simple scheduling misunderstanding.
Readers had strong reactions to this imbalance of labor and respect.
He’s not confused—he just doesn’t think your job matters as much as his.
Threatening to kick you out and cut the Wi-Fi is not normal behavior from a supportive partner.
If he wants another kid but can’t handle two hours with the ones he has, that tells you everything.
Reactions centered on concerns of control, lack of partnership, and the emotional toll of chronic one-sided caregiving.
🌱 Final Thoughts
A supportive partnership requires shared responsibility, respect for each other’s work, and the ability to communicate without threats. When one person consistently undervalues the other’s contributions, the relationship starts to feel like a burden instead of a team effort.
Sometimes the real dilemma isn’t about childcare—it’s about being treated like your time and ambitions matter.
What do you think?
Would you have left, or stayed and kept trying to make it work? Share your thoughts below 👇
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