AITA for Cutting Off My Parents After My Cousin Stole My Food and Had an Allergic Reaction?
A 13-year-old cousin moved in, my clothes started disappearing, and then she stole my peanut noodles and had a reaction—somehow it all became my fault. After weeks of being iced out, I chose peace and distance.
I’m 16F. A couple months ago my parents cleared their office so my 13-year-old cousin could move in. From day one my stuff went missing—braiding hair, crop tops, tube tops—sometimes cut up or stained when I found them. I asked for a lock after my things kept disappearing; my parents said no because I’d been caught smoking weed months earlier and they “didn’t want anything happening” in my room. When I confronted my cousin, she literally said it “looks better if it’s stolen.” I got yelled at for arguing with a 13-year-old and the house went cold toward me.
I didn’t poison anyone. She took my clearly labeled leftovers without asking and reacted to an allergy I didn’t even know she had—then my parents blamed me and sent me 36 hours away.
I’m 16, my cousin is 13, and we’re in New York; my grandma is in South Central Los Angeles. My cousin moved in because her parents “couldn’t handle her.” I do hair for myself and others, so the missing braiding hair and clothes hit my pockets too. I asked for boundaries (a lock), but my parents said no. The core friction: constant theft, zero consequences, and me being labeled “immature” for calling it out.
“Because it looks better if it’s stolen.” — my 13-year-old cousin when I asked why she didn’t just borrow.
Two weeks later I came home and got blamed for “food poisoning.” She had taken my leftover peanut noodles from a white to-go box—food she knew was mine—and had an allergic reaction. Only she and my dad knew about her peanut allergy; I didn’t. I was sent to my grandma’s “for the summer” so my cousin could “calm down.” My parents barely replied to my check-ins, so I blocked them to protect my peace. Then came therapy in L.A.: my mom sobbed, my cousin cried about being scared of her own parents and claimed I rubbed it in that mine “cared,” and she said she thought I knew about her allergy. I didn’t.
“I’m not a poisoner. I’m a teenager asking for basic boundaries.”
Final straw: sharing a room during their visit, my cousin used my hair products and pierced her nose with my Amazon piercing gun. After a blowup, my parents said I wasn’t welcome back, would ship my belongings, and that moving out would “benefit” me since I’m “too grown.” My grandma kicked them out after my dad squared up when I stood to leave. I’m now with my grandma, planning to enroll in a new high school and work, and I’ve blocked my parents and cousin.
🏠 The Aftermath
I’m living with my grandma in Los Angeles while my parents stay in New York. They said they’ll ship my stuff; I’m saving money from doing hair and lining up other jobs.
Logistics: no more shared room, new school in the fall, and my grandma is helping sort documents and enrollment. I’ve cut contact with my parents and cousin to stop the constant drama.
Family therapy didn’t fix it; if anything it showed how little accountability my parents expect from my cousin—and how quickly boundaries become “defiance” when I ask for them.
I didn’t erase my parents—I erased the chaos.
It hurts, but the quiet is a relief. I’m focused on stability, school, and work while my grandma advocates for me.
💭 Emotional Reflection
This isn’t about noodles—it’s about boundaries, safety, and parents who punish the squeaky wheel instead of addressing the behavior. My cousin is a kid with her own hurts, but I’m a kid too, and I deserved protection for my space and belongings.
I asked for a lock, honesty, and consequences. Instead, I got blame, distance, and a one-way ticket across the country. Choosing peace over chaos felt like “erasing” them to my parents, but to me it’s self-preservation.
Reasonable people can disagree about teen mistakes and second chances—but boundaries should not be optional, and allergies are not weapons to win arguments.
Here’s how the community tended to react:
NTA. You didn’t serve peanuts—she stole your food. Parents failed the boundary test.
Your grandma sounds like the only adult protecting you. Document everything and focus on school.
ESH for the smoking history, but this incident wasn’t on you. Locks and consequences should’ve happened months ago.
Overall, most people said I’m not the a**hole for stepping back. The consensus: protect your peace, keep receipts, and let stable adults lead.
🌱 Final Thoughts
At 16, I shouldn’t have to choose between my sanity and my parents’ approval. Distance isn’t erasure—it’s a boundary when every other boundary has been ignored.
They called it disloyal. I call it survival.
What do you think?
Would you have stayed and kept fighting for boundaries, or stepped back like I did? Share your thoughts below 👇
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