AITAH for Dropping Off Our Baby and Demanding 50/50 Custody When My Ex Only Wanted Weekends?
When motherhood feels like a trap you never agreed to, how far is too far to make the father share the weight? That’s the question I faced when I showed up at my ex’s job with our baby in my arms.
I’m 28 and my ex-husband is 29. We both agreed early in our relationship that we didn’t want children. Life was good — dual incomes, travel, and no diapers in sight. But then my IUD failed. In Texas, that meant I couldn’t get an abortion. I wanted to travel out of state, but he refused to drive me or help in any way. He said he “didn’t want to be part of something illegal,” and he refused to get a vasectomy afterward because it would “mutilate” him. I was trapped, angry, and scared — and when our son was born, everything between us crumbled.
I didn’t want to be a single mom — but I refused to let him pretend fatherhood was optional after forcing motherhood on me.
After our son was born, I filed for divorce within a month. By the time it was finalized, I was alone with a four-month-old baby, a full-time remote job, and no emotional connection to the child I was expected to care for 24/7. My ex would “visit” on weekends but refused to take the baby overnight. I suggested he start taking more responsibility — he brushed it off and said he’d let me know when he could fit it in.
“If I have to figure out how to be a mom, he can damn well figure out how to be a dad.”
After weeks of being ignored, I snapped. I grabbed the diaper bag, drove to his dealership, and handed him our baby in front of his coworkers. I told him we were doing 50/50 custody starting immediately. He panicked, asked who’d watch the baby while he worked, and said he couldn’t afford daycare. I told him to figure it out — just like I’ve been forced to figure out everything else.
“You made me have this baby — now you share the responsibility.”
His parents called me selfish, cruel, and heartless. They refuse to babysit for him but still think I should shoulder it all. I love my baby, but I’m exhausted, resentful, and determined to make sure parenthood isn’t a one-sided sentence. I’ve already contacted a lawyer to get custody formalized, but right now, it’s just chaos.
🏠 The Aftermath
My ex eventually took the baby for the week, but he’s been calling nonstop about how hard it is. He’s realizing what I already knew — that parenting is relentless, messy, and not something one person should shoulder alone.
His family still blames me, but I’m standing firm. I didn’t make this child alone, and I refuse to let him cherry-pick when fatherhood is convenient.
I’ve been sleeping better, catching up on work, and finally feeling human again during my off weeks. It’s not perfect, but it’s the first time in months I’ve felt balanced.
Parenting isn’t optional just because it’s inconvenient.
I’m not trying to punish him — I’m trying to survive. Maybe this is what real equality looks like when the law and biology refuse to make it fair.
💭 Emotional Reflection
This isn’t just a custody dispute — it’s a collision between reproductive rights and parental responsibility. I didn’t want this life, but once it became mine, I had to make it livable.
People love to preach about “shared parenting” until it means men actually have to share the work. My ex didn’t want the baby any more than I did — but he also didn’t want to let me choose differently. That decision has consequences for both of us now.
I don’t hate my child; I hate that the system left me with no say. Maybe this mess is the only way to force equality in a situation where choice was never equal to begin with.
The internet had strong opinions about this controversial move:
He forced you into motherhood — he can step up and experience fatherhood, too. NTA.
It’s harsh, but fair. You didn’t abandon the baby; you enforced shared parenting.
ESH. The kid didn’t ask for this. Both of you need therapy and a legal custody agreement, fast.
Responses were divided — some saw empowerment, others saw irresponsibility. But most agreed this situation exposes how unfair reproductive decisions can ripple into years of resentment and struggle.
🌱 Final Thoughts
There are no easy answers when one parent is forced into a role they never wanted. Still, accountability should go both ways — if she has to raise the child she didn’t choose, he has to parent the child he helped create.
Sometimes equality doesn’t look kind — it just looks necessary.
What do you think?
Was she justified in forcing 50/50 custody, or did she cross a line? Share your thoughts below 👇
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