AITA for refusing to babysit my employers’ friends’ seven kids without extra pay?
When my longtime nanny job suddenly turned into a neighborhood daycare without warning—or pay—I walked out. My employers say I ruined their night. I say they tried to exploit me.
I (56F) have been nannying for a couple—Jenna (29F) and Mitchel (32M)—for several years. They’re wealthy, kind (or so I thought), and their two children, ages five and four, are an absolute joy. I’ve loved working for them and never had issues before. One weekend, they were hosting a dinner party at a nearby restaurant and asked me to watch their kids as usual. Everything seemed normal until Jenna offhandedly mentioned that “the kids should be ready to be picked up by 9:30 p.m.” I found it strange since no one else’s children were ever involved, but I brushed it off.
Minutes before they left, seven of their friends showed up—each dropping off kids I had never agreed to watch. Suddenly I was expected to handle nine children alone for eight hours.
When I confronted Jenna, she acted surprised and said she assumed I wouldn’t mind because I “don’t do anything else” and that I “should be grateful” since I’m paid well. Apparently, her friends didn’t want to miss the party but couldn’t find sitters, so Jenna volunteered me to watch everyone’s kids to “save money.” I told her firmly I’d only agreed to watch her two and that unless she paid me seven times my rate, it wasn’t happening. She grew angry, saying I should do it as a favor and that I was “lucky” to have the job at all. I walked out.
“Be grateful you even have this job,” she said. So I left—and they had to cancel their dinner party.
Later that night, Mitchel called and cursed me out for “embarrassing them” and being a “lazy, selfish b****.” I hung up. I’ve since been torn—was I wrong to refuse when they were counting on me, or right to stand my ground against their entitlement?
“They wanted nine hours of free labor because they think my time has no value.”
Days later, Jenna called again pretending to apologize—but quickly shifted into guilt-tripping me to come back. She admitted she didn’t want a “younger nanny” because she was afraid her kids would call someone else “mom” and that she’d rather they see me as a “grandma.” That was the final straw. I told her to pull her head out of her ass, focus on her kids, and respect people’s work. Then I blocked both her and Mitchel for good. It’s been hard finding new clients, but it feels good to reclaim my worth.
🏠 The Aftermath
They tried to paint me as the villain to their friends, but several mutual contacts quietly told me I did the right thing. Word spread that they tried to con me into free labor, and now no sitter in the area will take them on.
Meanwhile, I’ve picked up part-time work with a more respectful family who values my time. No more surprise kids, no more guilt trips, and no more being treated like “just the help.”
Freedom and boundaries turned out to be worth far more than one wealthy couple’s paycheck.
If someone calls you “family” but treats you like a favor machine, you’re not family—you’re unpaid labor.
It’s shocking how fast people show their true colors when you stop being convenient for them. At least now, I know my value.
💭 Emotional Reflection
Care work is deeply personal—but it’s still work. Too often, nannies and caregivers get pressured to act like family while being treated as disposable when they assert boundaries. Saying “no” doesn’t make you ungrateful; it makes you professional.
Jenna’s “you should be lucky” comment reveals how some employers conflate kindness with control. When people think generosity replaces fairness, they stop seeing you as an equal human being.
Ultimately, walking away preserved both my dignity and peace. The kids deserved stability, but adults who manipulate caretakers don’t deserve that loyalty.
Reddit’s reaction was loud and clear:
NTA — They tried to turn you into free labor. A contract is a contract, and “one night” of exploitation still counts.
NTA — “You don’t do anything else” is not an excuse to abuse your time. You handled it with dignity and class.
NTA — That “grandma” comment was creepy and condescending. Good for you for walking out with your self-respect intact.
Most readers praised the nanny for standing her ground and reclaiming her self-worth after being guilt-tripped and disrespected by entitled employers.
🌱 Final Thoughts
Respecting boundaries isn’t “ungrateful.” It’s professional self-respect. You can love the kids and still refuse to be taken advantage of by their parents.
Sometimes walking away from toxic “kindness” is the most caring thing you can do—for yourself.
What do you think?
Would you have stayed for the kids’ sake, or drawn the same line? Share your thoughts below 👇
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