AITA for "threatening" to move out?

AITA for Telling My Parents I’ll Move Out if My Brother Keeps Yelling at 2AM?

I’m 23, living at home in a very old house where I shoulder a lot of the daily grind. After too many sleepless nights thanks to my 15-year-old brother’s late-night gaming, I told my parents I’d move out if it didn’t stop—now I’m being told that’s a “threat.”

I’m the oldest son with two sisters (one out, one 16) and a 15-year-old foster brother, Jake. Our house is ancient: hot water and heating come from a wood-fed oven that has to be started and tended. I handle the animals—including raw feeding for my dog and my parents’ dog—because my siblings refuse to learn. With bad bus connections, I also drive them around weekly. During school breaks, Jake game-yells into the night, and I wake at 6AM for work. I asked for quiet; it lasts a day, then the yelling returns. My parents say I should be understanding because he has ADHD. I’m exhausted.

I keep the fire going, feed the dogs, and drive the kids—so asking not to be woken by Fortnite screams at 2AM feels like the bare minimum.

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I’m living at home less than a year after finishing uni because the house needs constant hands-on work: the wood oven for heat and hot water, the dogs’ raw feeding, and rides for my siblings due to bad buses. My younger siblings refuse to learn the oven or do animal care. My parents work full-time, so a lot falls to me.

“I don’t wanna be woken up by yelling over Fortnite at 2AM when I have to get up at 6AM for work.”

Every school break it’s the same cycle: I ask Jake to keep it down, he stops for a day, then the shouting returns. My parents ask me to be understanding because he has ADHD. I’m not a doctor, but I don’t think ADHD requires yelling in the middle of the night. Meanwhile, they rely on me since my help keeps the house running.

“Either he’s quiet at night or you handle it yourselves—because I’ll move out.”

My mom called that a threat. I see it as a boundary so I can sleep and function at work. I have savings and could leave, but I worry about being ungrateful since my moving out would mean my parents juggling the oven, the dogs, and rides alone.

🏠 The Aftermath

Right now, nothing’s changed: Jake still games late on break, and I’m weighing whether to find a place of my own.

If I leave, my parents would need to adjust schedules, manage the wood oven and hot water, take over raw feeding the dogs, and handle rides to school, chess, and errands.

It would strain their routines, but my lack of sleep is burning me out and affecting my job. The status quo isn’t working for anyone.

“Sleep isn’t a luxury—especially when you’re the one keeping the lights and the fire on.”

I don’t want to punish my family; I just need rest and respect for quiet hours. It’s frustrating that a request for basic quiet is being framed as disloyalty.

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💭 Emotional Reflection

This is less about ingratitude and more about boundaries. My parents depend on me, but dependence can’t mean unlimited access to my sleep or time. ADHD can explain impulsivity, but it doesn’t erase the household’s need for quiet hours or shared responsibility.

The house’s quirks—wood fire for heat and hot water, raw feeding, bad transportation—created a system where I became the default adult. That’s not sustainable. Either routines change, or I step back so everyone adjusts to a fairer split.

Reasonable people can disagree on timing or tone, but expecting silence at 2AM when someone wakes at 6AM isn’t extreme—it’s basic respect. The real conflict is between comfort and accountability.

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Here’s how the community might respond to this late-night noise standoff:

“NTA. Quiet hours are normal, ADHD or not. Headset + no yelling after midnight is a reasonable rule.”

“Your parents are relying on you like a third parent. If they won’t enforce rules, moving out is a healthy boundary.”

“Soft ESH—threat framing aside, set a timeline and propose solutions (quiet hours, router schedule, door/room changes) before bailing.”

Overall, most would call it a boundary, not a threat—though some suggest clearer timelines and solutions before leaving so the family can plan.

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🌱 Final Thoughts

You can love your family and still need sleep. When one person’s needs always outrank everyone else’s, burnout is inevitable. Boundaries aren’t punishments—they’re instructions for how to treat each other.

If the house can’t run without you, that’s exactly why it needs to learn how to run without you—at least during the hours you’re supposed to be asleep.

What do you think?
Would you have left, or stayed and kept trying to make it work? Share your thoughts below 👇

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