AITJ For Giving My Fiancé His Ring Back After He Said “Take It Or Leave It”
When love meets money, things can get messy. What was supposed to be a dream engagement turned into a lesson in boundaries, self-worth, and red flags.
The OP (28F) thought she had found her forever partner in Tom (37M). After two years together and a proposal, she thought things were solid — until money entered the conversation.
Money Changed Everything — Or Maybe It Just Revealed Who He Really Was
The OP had inherited a fortune a few years back — a life-changing amount. She lived modestly, working part-time as a teacher and putting most of it into investments and a nonprofit. Only her father and sister knew the full details.
“Just because I can afford something doesn’t mean I should spend it,” she explained.
When Tom moved into her home, she covered almost everything — except groceries. Later, he wanted them to buy a new house together, big enough for his father to move in. The OP declined, suggesting a separate space someday instead. That’s when the topic of finances turned serious.
💰 When “Equal Partnership” Really Meant “You Pay For Everything”
Once Tom learned her real income — around $40k per month from investments — his attitude changed. He argued that since she had so much, she should buy the house and cover their lifestyle entirely. When she suggested proportional expenses and a prenup, he got defensive.
“We should be equal partners,” he said. “You buy the house, put it in both our names, and I’ll sign the prenup.”
In other words: she funds everything, he gets half. After several arguments, he issued an ultimatum — “Take it or leave it.” She asked if saying no meant breaking up. He said yes.
So she left it. Took off the ring. Told him to get out of her house.
💍 The Fallout
Tom panicked after realizing she was serious. He tried to walk it back, claiming he didn’t mean it — that he just wanted her to agree. Then he accused her of ending their relationship “over money.”
“You ended it,” she said. “You gave me an ultimatum — and I chose myself.”
Despite the heartbreak, the OP stood firm. She wasn’t going to bankroll someone who saw her inheritance as a shortcut to comfort. She wanted love, not entitlement.
Reddit unanimously sided with the OP, calling her decision empowering and smart.
“Ultimatums are a power move — and she chose power back.”
“He didn’t want a wife, he wanted a wallet.”
“She dodged a lifetime of financial manipulation. Good for her.”
Many pointed out how calmly and logically she handled everything — proof that protecting your boundaries doesn’t make you greedy, it makes you wise.
🌱 Final Thoughts
Relationships built on respect can handle difficult conversations. Those built on control fall apart the moment someone says “no.” The OP didn’t lose love — she lost a liability.
What do you think?
Was she right to walk away, or should she have tried to save it? Share your thoughts below 👇
0 Comments